Considering Daycare? Consider the Pros and Cons.
Author: Eln Albert
When youre a parent its a difficult decision to know whether to send your child to daycare or not. We have provided many of the pros and cons of sending your child to daycare for your consideration. In our opinion, nothing replaces the day-to-day interaction that you can provide with your child. We also believe that some interaction with other children either through occasional daycare, part-time, or through play-groups and other educational learning programs are invaluable. We also recognize that Mom or Dad also needs to have a break and occasional daycare can provide that for them. What we dont believe in is a baby or toddler being in someone elses care for eight hours or more a day everyday! Thats not fair to your child. So with all that in mind, please consider the pros and cons listed below. And may you make the right decision for your children and yourself.
UPSIDE of Daycare:
Always more than one person available to watch, care for, supervise, and feed your child
Interaction with other children
Develop social skills at an early age
Kids days are pretty much scheduled, routine, and consistent
Daycare centers don't call in sick
Kids receive a lot of mental stimulation
Your house stays neater (although my son can make a mess in minutes)
The kids enjoy the change of scenery and toys
Cost is less than for a nanny
English-as-second-language kids have more exposure to English
DOWNSIDES of Daycare:
Nighttime baths vs. possibly every other day
Laying out their clothes
Packing nutritious lunches vs. fast food snacks
Morning rush to get out of the house on time
Allow extra time to make the stop and drop-off
Your child screaming, Mommy dont go!!
The guilt and bad feelings because youre leaving them behind
Less one-on-one attention from caregivers
Potential personality conflicts at the center between parents and staff
Potential personality conflicts between the children
Ethics taught are the centers or the caregiver
Values taught are the centers or the caregiver
Possibly no ethics or values taught at all
Political influences are those at the center/school
Less bonding between parent and child
Child learns early on that you wont be there for them when they need you
You dont get to see and experience all the firsts that your child goes through
You can NEVER recapture those things you miss
When your child has a boo-boo youre not there to make it better
When your child is excited about what she/he has learned, youre not there at the moment they want to share it with you
When theyre not feeling well you leave them to someone else to care for them
When theyre sick no one will baby them like you will
More exposure to health issues: ringworm, lice, and colds/flues
Youre not there to kiss away their tears
Youre not there to waylay their fears
Youre not there to set their wild ideas back on track
No opportunity to have a spontaneous day
No time to do nothing at all together
To experience the joy of holding and watching your child sleep for hours (hopefully)
Youre not there to teach them to climb a tree
To explore the bugs and insects
To plant a seed and watch it grow
Playing what do you see in the clouds
Less time to go to the beach, woods, hiking, swimming, biking, skating, etc.
No time to just play
To be your kids playmate
To experience getting to be a kid all over again with your child
Seeing and experiencing life through the eyes of your child
No time to make pancakes in the morning
No time to bake real cookies
Not there to put a band aid on the invisible oweee
Not get to see your childs imagination develop
Not get to see their personal development as much as you could
Dont get to see them beaming with pride at their BIG accomplishments
Infants and toddlers spending 6-8-10 hours a day away from Mom or Dad
The cost of daycare is an added expense: financial and emotional
When you work, at the end of your day, you just wont have the energy, patience or the time to spend with your child in the manner you should or would like to. Your job becomes the first priority and the child the second. They get whats left over if there is anything left to get. How do you like it when you are second fiddle to someone you care about and love?
Parents say, Oh, they dont mind. He likes the babysitter a lot. Hed rather I went to work. That may be true, but chances are hes never experienced having you at home full-time to know what that is like. There cant be a comparison! Children so love unconditionally, they will put up with even the worst of circumstances and still love their parents. Because children only want to be loved, cared for and valued themselves.
Ask yourself this question: If you chose to continue working when you have a choice not to, why did you have the children if you didnt want to raise them yourself? I know some people truly dont have a choice. But many choose to continue working even though they could make do on one salary or move to an area where they could manage financially. Our society has become so accustomed to having two incomes; we no longer think we have a choice not to work. Imagine this, in one year; if you spent five dollars less per day you will save $1825. Thats one less cup of special coffee per day. If you spend ten dollars less per day, you will save $3650 per year. How much do you spend per day on lunches in your family? A large delivered pizza can easily run close to $20. One fast food meal for a family of four could easily be close to $25 or more. Where could you save money? The question is, are you willing to for the sake of your kids?
Add up all the possible costs of day care and compare to the costs and benefits of working. The most important cost of all to consider is that special time spent with your children. What is the cost to them? In a recent interview of Jane Fonda with 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl, Fonda said, I was not a good mother. And then, you end up paying for it later."
According to 60 Minutes, Jane created a school program to persuade teenage girls not to get pregnant, and to teach girls who are pregnant how to be better mothers. She created this program because of the mistakes shes made in her own life, and because of the mistakes her parents made raising her.
"If you dont have a parent or an adult, a teacher or a mentor really see you, really love you, 'Yes, there are things you do I dont like, but youre fantastic, youre good enough. I love you.' If that never happens to a child, the child assumes its her fault and tries to compensate for it," says Fonda.
Dont make the mistakes you have experienced or you have seen others experience just because you dont look far enough ahead. Look at the bigger picture, look ahead ten years or so and imagine what life will be like with your children later on.
I say this, If you dont have time for your children when theyre young, they wont have time for you when youre old.
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About the Author
Copyright 2005 Eln Albert
Best known for her expertise in Interpersonal Communications, Eln Albert works with those that want to be at their best when influencing others. Eln is a Professional Speaker and Author.
For more information on how to be the best influencer as a parent or a boss go to http://www.ElnAlbert.com. Check out other articles by Ms. Albert and subscribe to get her free "The Magic of Influence" e-newsletter. ...
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